It's probably going to be a bad year for New Age trinket sellers- forensic analysis of the supposedly Aztec "Crystal Skull" shows it is most likely a nineteenth century artifact.

Usually when I refer to robed morons, I mean certain SC judges- but this time, it's real morons. The majority of cases of "Satanic dabbling" I've ever encountered have been confused teens, but this time it's three grown men- still apparently not old enough to figure out that wearing black robes and trying to sacrifice kittens to Beelzebub in a small town cemetery might attract a little negative attention.