According to a recent lawsuit filed in New Mexico, the Air Force has a new recruitment tool: Jesus.

The saga of the Wiccan widow seeking to properly memorialize her war-hero husband continues to garner media attention. See also: Widow mourns in Pagan community

Tom Cruise stands accused by the media of attempting to blackmail Comedy Central to prevent re-airing of the South Park Episode that makes fun of Tom and Scientology-a claim he vigorously denies (all the while continuing to beat off silly rumors about odd childbirth rituals he will supposedly employ). This of course follows Isaac Hayes' now infamous walkout over the same episode. The show's creators, however, seem to be the only ones who have retained their sense of humor:

"So, Scientology, you may have won THIS battle, but the million-year war for earth has just begun! Temporarily anozinizing our episode will NOT stop us from keeping Thetans forever trapped in your pitiful man-bodies. Curses and drat! You have obstructed us for now, but your feeble bid to save humanity will fail! Hail Xenu!!!"

The duo signed the statement "Trey Parker and Matt Stone, servants of the dark lord Xenu."

Related Funny: The Top 15 Least Known Chapters in "Dianetics"

On a more serious note, one can read an interview with a non-celebrity Scientologist: Scientology 'not a once-on-Sunday religion'
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How does the LDS Church react to news that DNA science disproves a major tenet of the Mormon religion? By declaring science wrong. (Well, it worked for the Catholic Church- just ask Galileo.)